A Piece of My Mind

I was on this longer-than-life, 19 hours drive to and back to one of my customer’s factory in this absolutely ridiculous road condition that I was literally shaking in my bones half the way.  And then we took a stop in front of a mosque, I waited alone in the car while my colleague and my driver went in for the Friday prayer.  So, I turned on the stereo, and there was Alanis Morissette singing Flinch.  You know what image flashed through my mind?  You.  You know, when we sometimes met after you just had finished your Friday prayer, and your face was a little bit blushed from the sun, and you hair was still wet a little from the wudhu.  And you smiled.  And you laughed.  And your eyes lit up as you told me stories.  And there was another image of you falling asleep, tired from walking a mile or so for your exercise.  Your face also blushed from the sun, this fresh reddish blush on your white skin.  And there was a drip of sweat on your forehead.  You snored.  How ridiculous is it that I even miss your snore?

It was a long, painful drive yesterday, but it was merely as painful as thinking that I might not be able to see you like that ever again.  You have ruined me for any other men in the world as none of them will ever measure up to who you are.  But I guess I shouldn’t have told you that and made your head grows even bigger and bigger as the arrogant, selfish, insensitive man that you are.

I read one of your old messages, the one that said you missed me.  I looked at the date and it was almost two years ago.  But weeks and months had passed.  We are barely speaking to each other.  Geography is no longer our friend.  Everything just seems to have lost in translation.  You know what’s killing me though?  I kept going it over and over in mye head, words that should be left unsaid, or even worse … words that I should have said.

If you’re reading this, just tell me this: what happened to us?  Tell me please, so I can stop being a masochistic for torturing myself with my feelings and fixations towards you.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 8th, 2007 at 2:34 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.